The Llama that brought you

Can surely take you back to whence you came, you silly drama bug.

Not sure what is up but I believe the Drama bug is trying to sneak up and bit me.  Please pray that this goes away as I don't want the stress that I know it will bring.

I don't feel like I have much to say.  I just haven't updated much lately.  Honestly, I really don't even have words. I wonder if taking two english classes is taking the creativity from my brain and eating it.

Thinking that maybe I should take a creative writing class so I am forced to keep up with the creative vein of writing.  Writing essays all the time is depleting  and makes writing life feel boring.

Oh yeah. My friends J&M had their baby boy this past week.  Makes me wish I hadn't gotten my tubes tied.  OH WAIT.  If I hadn't then I'd probably have 8 kids and not be in school right now. I love being in school. I love that all my kids can talk to me about what is going on with them emotionally and what their hopes and dreams for the future are.  I simply miss the holding of babies and feeling completely needed.

Anyway. those are the things in my brain.
Have a blessed day.

a little late but here it is. Wordless Wednesday via a Friday

I remember

I remember when


poetry found us,

Two souls

floating on the waves

of words inside

our lonesome heads.

It brought us together

where it bound us

in shared moments

of genuine

emotions raging

needs fast and racing.

13 years later

the poetry is forgotten

no sharing

of waves of words.

Loneliness riles

the seas inside us.

Fighting with ores

we try

we steer our canoes

reaching for

I remembers

to hold the binding

that poetry glued.

Father Time

Do you think maybe just maybe you can slow down just a tiny bit.  My babies are growing up too fast.  I am allowing the children to watch a movie today and I get up to grab the chord to my lap top and I look over and my nearly 13 year old is snuggled up on the couch with his baby sister.   What a heart warming sight to see.  My cup runneth over. I am so lucky that they all get along and love each other so much.
Don't get me twisted, they do have their squabbles and moments of sheer frustration with each other, but you can see they genuinely love each other.  How many people can say they are so blessed to have kids that are so close together?  We did something right, maybe it was having them so close together or maybe it was simply instilling in them that family is family and having brothers and sisters are like having built in best friends. 

I am just grateful.

Feeling it

I ain't feeling it
you see
I ain't feeling it
walking around
with this chip
deep on my shoulder
I ain't feeling it
fill it in
take it off
don't leave me
hanging around with
the garbage your flinging
at the back of my head
I ain't feeling it
there's a mirror hanging
maybe, take a glance
is it your face your seeing?
There's a ghost
in your shadow casting
red filled glares
but I ain't feelin it
you are wasting your
efforts,your energies
are running away
from that bunny with his drum
It's not everlasting
Im headed for higher ground
to build my house
On a rock solid
not your sinking sand.

MS MUD RUN

Hey all,  I am participating in the Multiple Sclerosis Mud run on May 7th.  I have to raise $100.00 to participate. If anyone so kindly wishes to help me help others it would be so appreciated.  
Here is a link so you can help me out.
http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=16860&team_id=236748
Not only does money go to help find a cure but it also goes to help get the meds to those who cannot afford them.

wondering on rambling road

So I have noticed that I see a lot of things on my daily trek to the learning establishment. One the amount of trash that litters the ground. Two, I wish I had a camera to capture all the things that affect my emotions by their sight. Three,  I often start thinking of awesome things to write but as I reach into my bag for the needed utensils,  the thoughts and words flee from me as though writing them down would polute them like the scenery near my higher education facilities.

I wonder what would happen if I simply started picking up the trash off the ground in this sad and lonely neighbor hood.  Would the folks be offended to see this white girl doing it?  I know that sounds racist and it isn't my thoughts to come across that way, but I hear from others around me that the goodie goodie white folks always trying to help the poorer folks come off as ... what is the wording I am looking for?   Only doing it for the looks not because it needs to be done.  Personally, I hate looking at trash and clutter and I absolutely hate, HATE litter. I have always picked stuff up off the ground and placed it in the trash bin.  Why can't every one else just do this too?

A wordless Wendnesday ( idea by explodingdoughnut)

doctors

So I finally went to the doctors on Friday.  I was right, it was Bronchitis.   One Zpack later and I feel so much better.
Why did I wait so long to go?  OH YEAH it was at Connect Care. It wasn't this bad this time. The doctor was really nice and actually listened to me.
Oh and AWESOME NEWS.


STRAIGHT A's  BABY. 

Ug with a big cough

im not using correct capitalization today. i don't care what anyone says.
i don't feel well. haven't for the last week . my chest hurts and my abs hurt from all the coughing. i was coughing so hard i almost threw up. gross. i was on the city bus no less.  i thought for sure i was scaring the other folks on the bus.  coughin so much and so hard i had tears streaming down my face and the face was bright fiery red.
i just want to feel better and i don't want to have to go to the doctor to feel that way.  mostly cause i have to go the the clinic.  i don't like going to the clinic, it doesn't feel safe there and smells of urine and liquor.
i am whiny and tired and achy and want to sleep for a decade not waking until all that ails me is gone. snuggled under the covers, head buried in my pillows and smothered in sweats and layers of t shirts. wouldn't hurt to have a cup of hot tea to go along with all that and my mama rubbing my back like i was 5.

attack of the chest gunkies

Stupid weather ( at least that is whom/ what I am blaming) for making me sick.   Started Tuesday evening with a weird cough.  By Friday, I was laid up on the couch running fevers with chills and coughing my lungs out.  I don't think I got up from the couch Friday except to go to the bathroom and make dinner for the family.   Yesterday I felt better.  Was able to go to an eye appointment and order my new glasses and contacts.  By evening however, I was coughing up sticky greenish yellow crap.  I sounds like a seal barking.  My mama thinks I should go to the doctor because her hypocondriac self says I may have walking pneumonia.  I personally think it;s just a bad cold.  I am definitely getting a great ab work out from all the coughing.

I will be glad when I feel 100%.  I think that I needed the rest though. I think God allows us to be ill so that we remember we have to take time to rest.  I am grateful for that reminder. I hope to do better about resting instead of being full steam all the time.  Now if only I could be back to feeling normal with no invisible elephants sitting on my chest.

the writing process

I am supposed to be writing a story for a friend of mine.  It was asked that I use vivid details to really bring the pictures to the mind.  However,  I have yet to really start on it.  I feel like school work is sucking all the juices from my creative brain.

I did write a couple awesome paragraphs for my English class though.  Is it wrong that I am so tempted to post them here?   I think I may infact do that.  The first paragraph was supposed to be about an even that only lasted a short time but will never leave you.  I wrote about my first time riding the city bus here in St. Louis.  The next paragraph was supposed to be a persuasive paragraph to get someone to stop doing something.  The second one I wrote about why pregnant women should stop smoking.  I think I am going to turn that one into an essay as there were a lot of facts and angles that could be taken. 

Anyway.   Here they are, if you feel so inclined, please let me know what you think of them.

Paragraph one:

My first experience riding the city bus was enlightening to the difference between urban and suburban areas. I never realized how many people in the city rode the bus every day. I assumed that everyone had the ability to drive a car.  I was shocked when at the very first stop five people got on.  The next thing I took note of was that the affluence of the neighborhoods gradually changed as the bus moved from one street to the next. The difference wasn’t just in the houses, but also the businesses and the streets. The shops started out well cared for and open for business. As the bus took us farther into the city, the shops became dilapidated and often vacant. The communities mirrored these shops.  It looked as though the population was demoralized by the amount of trash and graffiti. The buildings looked sad and droopy in contrast to the buildings in the more affluent suburban areas.  I have realized that living a sheltered life has left me ignorant of life in the city.

Paragraph 2

Pregnant women should stop smoking. Smoking during pregnancy can cause low birth weight.   A low birth weight is anything under 5 and half pounds. Not only is smoking unhealthy for the smoking woman, but the nicotine and carbon monoxide go straight into the blood stream and that means it goes straight into the baby’s blood stream.  Carbon monoxide is deadly as it takes at least 2 hours to clear your blood and this is based on activity levels. So one should think about the effects it has on the fetus.  These two toxins are among 4,000 others that include lead and cyanide.  The mother should also consider that smoking is linked to many forms of cancer.  What mother does not want to be there for her children?  Chances are that if they continue to smoke, they are going to die from this horrible habit.  The sad fact is that the mother risks the chance of giving birth to a still born baby because of her smoking habit.  It is clear that smoking and pregnancy do not go hand in hand and therefore mothers should stop smoking as soon as they can.

For not having written a paragraph for a class in a long time, I am pretty proud of these two.