to wish upon a shooting star

I am thinking about things I would love love love to do.

I want to walk along the beach not at sunset but at dawn.  I want to feel the sand slide through my toes as the waves pull it out to see. To watch the sky slowly lighten the night to day.  The colors growing from cold dark of deep blue its almost black to the purple.  I want to feel the oranges and reds and hot pinks slip into the warm  melinan egniting yellow of an early summer day. To pick up the first sea shell I see and hold it tightly in my palm to remember the day's birth. 
I haven't sat on the beach with a pad and a pen to write and listen to the waves sing lullabyes to a tormented soul since I was 17. I haven't hug a moat for the castle and my feet to trap the ocean with my children. We've never held hands and run to the waters of the Atlantic,  not all four of them together at least.

I wonder what it is like to see the expressions on their faces as we tour another country and to see the grief of home too far away with its creature comforts that we have become so accustome to.  I want to see the impact that another culture will have on the shaping of their future selves.  I wonder about the appreciations they will have when they are grown with families of their own.

It's funny because I wonder what it iwll be like to live with my husband in a house void of children.  Will we wish they were still small or will we rejoice at the freedom we will have.

The thing i wish for the most is to beable to look back at my life for contentment and joy.