I am starting to feel a bit persecuted by my boss. It feels that no matter what I do, I am just not good enough, I always seem to do things wrong. If my coworker hadn't told my boss I was having a rough day with some personal issues, I would have been fired. I am very tired of being threatend with being fired. I want to just say, " Mr. C, this isn't working, this job just isn't the place for me, but I so appreciate that you gave me a job and allowed me to gain experience."
I know that it is simply my emotions talking. I am grateful to my friends that keep reminding me that this too shall pass and everything happens when it is supposed to. I am grateful that God is bigger than I am and its all in His hands and not my own. Had all this been in my own hands, I would have used choice words and told the dude where to stick his job. I would be gearing up for boot camp NEXT month instead of whenever I get on Thursday.
More than anything, I am so grateful that God gave me a husband that knows what I am going through with reguards to joining up. He keeps having to remind me that he too had to deal with the hoop jumping and that just whenyou think its done and you are ready to go, something else jumps in and says "OH NO YOU DON'T". He has been so supportive of me doing this, often times pushing me to do this so I can achieve my goals of being in the health industry, to taking care of those that need me and teaching my daughters that its ok to be a mom and a professional and to reach for your dreams. My husband knows what I am capable of and he knows that I often lack the self esteme to go out and get what it is that I need. He has seen me fight through the I can'ts and the I am going to fail and he has seen me in action of times of stress pick up our family by the scruff of our pants and get us back on track. Just as I have seen him.
God has truly blessed me in this life and I deeply wish to do well by that and give to him by giving to others even the slightest of what He has given to me.
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